...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
