The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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