i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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