I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize