what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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