everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
