I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
