Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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