man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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