If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
