Kiss
Puke
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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