My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
