he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize