We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
