who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
