I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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