I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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