walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
did i walk over a car last night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
