Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
