Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
