this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
