So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
