Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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