So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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