You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
