Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
