come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
