If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize