i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
