Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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