so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
