DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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