And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
