I heard we made out
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
