just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize