you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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