bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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