Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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