I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
