Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
