btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize