There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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