Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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