I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize