is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
