I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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