dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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