Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
