Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
did i just pee glitter
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize