I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize