had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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