it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
