Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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