remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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