Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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