I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
