Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
