If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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