This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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