Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
