hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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