Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
