if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
